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Helping a Child Grieve
A time will come in your child’s life where they will have
to deal with death. Hopefully their first experience will be a pet or far off
relative giving you the opportunity to introduce death to them. One of the best
things you can do for a child is let them see you grieve. Do not try and hide
your emotions, but talk about why you are hurting. This reassures them that it
is okay to cry and be sad. It is comforting to know that even though the person
is gone, we can discuss their memories. Having a healthy view of death will
help your child deal with their losses as they grow up.
Someday your child will experience a loss that turns their
heart upside down for a time. What can you do to help them through this
process? First off, acknowledge their grief. Tell them you understand their
pain and its okay if it hurts right now. Remind them that it will get easier as
time goes on. Consider your own views of death and eternity and share them with
your child.
Your child is likely to go through the same stages of grief
any adult would. You can expect to see deep sadness, anger, confusion,
aggression, denial, temper tantrums and uncontrollable outbursts of crying as
well as acceptance. These are the normal stages of grief, and your child should
be comforted by you or another adult during these times. Unfortunately your
child is likely to express their grief at times where it is not convenient for
you. At the bank, in the checkout line, while talking to a concerned neighbor.
This is also very normal. When your attention is taken away from the child, it
is at that time they begin to feel the profound loss in their life. They will
act out, not to frustrate or anger you, but because it is at that time they
sense the hurt the most. Your child may revert back to thumb sucking or bed
wetting during the first weeks after a death. These too are normal behaviors
for a child that has felt they lost control. Try not to make a big deal about
the disruptions, and keep reassuring your child that in time the pain will
lessen.
Remember to have your child get proper rest, good nutrition
and plenty of daily exercise. It only need to be a walk around the block in the
fresh air and sunshine together that will help them to deal with the influx of
emotions he or she may be feeling during this time. This time together will be
a benefit to both of you.
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