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Help for a Widow
Becoming a widow is one of the hardest days in a woman’s
life. Not only have they lost a very close loved one, but depending on their
age, they have lost the father of their children, the provider of their family,
and their stability. It is a huge loss, different from losing any other family
member. No matter if the loss was sudden and unexpected or from a long term
illness the stages of grief will still be felt. Having friends that are willing
to help and lend not only a hand, but an ear or a shoulder to cry on, will be
needed.
The first few days will be a mix of exhaustion, overwhelming
fear, and planning. It can take a lot out of anyone and everyone. If you can be
there to handle phone calls, plan meals, help out with child care or run
errands now is the time to step up. Be willing to set aside your grief to help
this widow work through hers. If there is a church that can help out financially,
or someone can begin a fund at a local bank this will help to take the
immediate financial concerns off her shoulder. If her husband was the soul
provider this will help her to have one less worry for the next few weeks. Even
though all this, don’t assume anything. It’s okay to ask if she needs financial
help. Do you need money right away? Did you husband have a life insurance
policy? How can I help? You do not want to worry her or add to her concerns,
but you will need to help assess the situation and have one or two appointed
people doing the worrying for her. Financial concerns could be one of her
biggest fears and addressing it early will help her.
If there is planning do for the funeral assisting her by
doing the leg work will free her to help the children with the loss of their
father. Hopefully she has family members that can step in at this point.
Helping her to find one member who is willing to call all the family members
and friends will be helpful. She may not be up to delegating, so helping her to
delegate is important.
If you cannot be physically present, be sure to send a comforting care package, pamper gift filled with bath and body products to help her relax or a nice sympathy gift basket. If your budget is tight, a beautiful and heartfelt greeting card or gift book will help offer your support. Planet Gift Baskets carries a nice, inexpensive book called, Going On After A Loss, which helps newly widowed woman avoid loneliness, preserve self care and begin to heal. Click here to view this comforting booklet.
Finally be a friend. She may want to talk, she may want to
cry. She may surprise you at some point and want to do something other than
grieve. Don’t judge her as she works through her grief. Be willing to find
answers for her when she has questions. Offer your support and be ready when
she takes you up on it.
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