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Funeral Etiquette
Funeral etiquette need not be as hard as some make it. It
can be as simple as keeping to the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would
have them do unto you. Put yourself in their position for a minute and imagine
others showing up to the funeral of your loved one. How would you hope they
would act, dress and show their respects? This is probably one of the simplest
ways to decide what you should do.
What should you wear?
You do not need to cover yourself in head to toe black these days. However,
wearing colors in the subdued color palette may be your best choice. Grays,
blues, softer colors of pink or purple will give you a great place to start. Wearing
modest clothing for women and simple slacks and a nice shirt for men is appropriate.
Some funeral announcements will ask that the attendees where a certain color to
celebrate the deceased’s life. If you are able, wearing that color on some part
of your outfit would be fitting.
What should you say?
There is a lot of room in this question. It really depends on how well you know
the family. If you knew the deceased from work, school, or church, you may want
to introduce yourself “I’m Joe from Networks R Us, I wanted you to know how
sorry we are for your loss. We will miss Mark and his sense of humor very much.”
This is simple, introduces you and how you knew their loved one and also gives
them a happy reminder of their family member. If you know the family well, you
can personalize the sentiment even more, and ask them how they are doing. Stay
away from asking them how the person passed, or trying to comfort them by
saying they are in a better place now. It’s hard when you feel like you have so
little you can say, but keeping it sincere and simple are always the best
sentiments.
What should you
bring? Almost always, there is a guest book and a card basket at the funeral.
If you feel you would like to contribute more, adding a monetary gift to your
card will always be welcomed. You can also note if you gave money to your
favorite charity in the deceases name. If you want to do more, you can call the
funeral home, or church that is hosting the funeral and ask if flowers are
needed. Donating a spray of flowers is a beautiful gesture that is sure to be
appreciated.You can also send a sympathy gift basket that can be sent to the funeral parlor or family home. If there is a gathering after the funeral, you may bring your sympathy gift basket with you.
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