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Offering Sympathy After The Visitors Are Gone
This Spring a dear loved one passed away in our family. Her death was sudden and unexpected. She left behind an endearing husband, two children and many grandchildren. During the week of her funeral and several weeks after, the family seemed to have everything together. They hosted visitors that came to pay their respects. They accepted graciously sympathy gifts and flowers from far away relatives. We all thought, although difficult, everyone was going to make it through this extremely difficult time.
Weeks past and things began to unravel. The reality that the matriarch of their family was gone seemed to finally sink in. The children began fighting with the husband over possessions. The siblings fought over minor family issues. The true grief of losing a loved one set in. No more well wishers stopping by, no more gift baskets and flowers arrived through the mail.
These are the times when sympathy and empathy are most needed. This article discusses three ways that you can comfort a family when true grief sets in. The first thing you can do is continue to call. Most often, the grief process will not allow them to speak on the phone. The feelings of hopelessness may make them unwilling to speak to you. Continue to leave voice messages if you can. After the grief subsides a little, they will be grateful for your persistence.
The second thing you can do during this period of grief is send letters, cards, pictures and other trinkets for them. If they are not answering phone calls, they may still read and appreciate words of comfort and encouragement you offer. An inexpensive sympathy gift sent once a month will remind them of your concern. Some examples include a picture frame, trinket box, small angel or even a greeting card. These things may brighten their mood when they least expect it.
Third, you can always drop a meal by. People experiencing deep grief may not even answer their door. Leave the meal on their doorstep with a note and don’t expect much more than that. Some internet websites offer a meal delivery service. Purchasing a few meals once a month for delivery is also a great way to show your support. Sympathy Meals offers this type of service.
Lastly, you can email them resources for help with their grief. They may not know where to look for the help they need. Sending them several sympathy resources through email may get them thinking about how to heal. There are many places that help people deal with grief & bereavement, both online and locally. If they do not have a computer, go ahead and send the information through the mail.
One thing to always remember is to not get your feelings hurt if an exchange with a grieving person seems cold or rushed. They feel how they feel and you should never try to talk them out of their current feelings. The best thing to do is offer a listening ear if they ask for it, show support even if it is rejected and do your best to stay out of family squabbles. These things will pass along with the grief they are presently feeling. What they will remember is your unwavering support for them during the most difficult time in their life. That is the best sympathy gift you can offer them.
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